Gasp... Madonna and Guy Ritchie Divorce!!!

Well well well so its finally come about that Madonna and Guy are divorcing.

After getting over the shock (over the fact that it was front page news not that the fact that the Matriarchal-Uber-Pumped-Up-Bionic-Woman has decided to call it a day with the Boozehound that is Mr Ritchie) I'm still thinking about what attracted the two in the first place!

You know when you go on that first date with someone and there isn't that vibe yet but you give it another chance, you quite like the guy, he's good-looking, talented, funny so you think you should like him, and you see him again, and your friends are saying you look good together and well its got kind of comfortable so you continue seeing him until it ends up you get a house together have 2 kids and 5 years later wonder what the f*** is going on? No? Never done that? Well that's what I think happened in this scenario, the Material girl was too busy with career, adopting Malawaaian (sp?) orphans, botox and looking like Ms Universe to realise what was staring her in the face...a nasty case of clocktickingspermrequireddandyenglishmanwilldo-ulitis.(ok you try to think up a fictional disease, go on I dare you!)

It's not like I don't like Guy Ritchie...I actually do in fact I'd love to see him with a homely, curvaceous little Welsh Kitten, all goose-pimpled and starry eyed he surely deserves it after years with the Ice Maid-onna in fact Septic Peg here almost guarantees his next lass will be a Kelly Brook alike so watch this space.

Am sure the newspapers can't wait for custody battles and such like, I can imagine the headlines now 'Madonna Feeds Kids Rice Cakes at Christmas', 'Guy Dresses Rocco as Chimney Sweep as Dick van Dyke Obsession Worsens'. Ah well, lets look on the bright side, at least there will be no more shifty Madonna films, and hopefully she will take her relstionship break-up blues out on a few tubs of Ben and Jerry's to fatten her up a bit, those sinewy arms with more bulging veins than a black stallion during intercourse are enough to put me off MTV for life!

Anyway I wish her good luck in her future partner choices which will no doubt constitute toy boy lovers, American basket ball players and the pool boy. Amen.

Lxx