FFS, Par example!

Pandora lies prostate on the sofa, enjoying House and carrots with Sour Cream dip when suddenly mobile dings, there's a message. Transcript reads as follows:

STRANGE PERSON: So you recovered from wkend yet?

dingied

SP: U got my jacket? Left it up at urs at the wkend? x
ME: Sorry do I know you?
SP: It's Adam u 4gotn me? Lol
ME: No didnt know you in the first place
SP: Sorry must hav wrong numbr? Who is this neway?
ME: Lee (thinking that maybe I was more blootered than I thought at weekend)
SP: Lee who? As in male or female? Where you from?
ME: Female, look I really don't think I know you so...
SP: OK sory must hav wrong numbr! Whr u frm? Im adam frm Glasgow
ME:Glasgow
SP: Cool im frm west end byres rd! U up2 much? Wat age r ya?
ME: Dont want to be rude but if I dont know you and you have wrong number so why u still texting?
SP: U want me 2 stop txtn u? U nt fancy getn 2knw each othr? I dnt bite!
ME: Well im 50 year old with no teeth and a blue rinse, so dont think im your type
SP: Lol thats wat I lyk! Nah saw ur pic on gumtree so thot id text ya!

dingied