OMG did I just do that?????

So far this week I have been sent two texts that weren't originally meant for me, one was an ex telling his new gf a complete and utter untruth about something I said ( retort did follow, I believe said ex was suitably shamed) and another from a guy I went on one date with (a long time ago)to what was obviously a new 'friend', more of which I will tell you later. These reminded me of one of the MANY erroneous text/email situations I have had.

I remember one time a friend and I were having the usual bored email chat in work. Conversation swiftly but inevitably turned to 'The Office Hottie' whom we had both secretly salivated over for years and as always we reverted into various steamy but funny anecdotes about what we would do if we ever got our hands on him (No longer at this particular workplace thank God as am sure I would have been sacked for sexual harrassment by now). I can't really remember what this particular email said but am fairly sure it involved stationary cupboards, blindfolds and fruit! Anyway as I clicked on the send button, I suddenly experienced a moment of complete clarity, as if the right side of my brain had turned itself on just for this one defining moment, a last ditch attempt at saving me from what was surely to come. I moved my cursor to the sent items folder and there to my complete and utter horror I could see I had sent the email about the Hottie TO THE HOTTIE!!!

Even now a trickle of perspiration runs down my face as I remember slowly crouching under my desk to escape seeing the Hottie's reaction. After about 5 minutes of hogging office floor I decided to brave it. If indeed 'The Hottie' was, as I imagined, at that very moment convulsing with pee-inducing laughter I could handle it I would just send a email saying 'it was a joke, just brightening your day, let's change the subject blah de blah ha ha so funny Gad I kill myself sometimes anyway how's your mum, dead? Oh sorry didn't know that....' I had it all planned.

So I perched on my seat all lady-like, pretended to type and twitchingly peered past my monitor to see what the aftermath of this atrocious calamity was...and to my surprise...and complete delight he wasn't there!!!! After a quick think I managed to salvage the situation by hanging around his desk until he got back, told him the basic version of the story about sending him an email instead of someone else and I would be mortified if he read it etc etc and he, being the total gentleman that he is, allowed me to take over his pc and delete every shred of evidence from it! Reputation Saved!

Anyway, can you imagine what it would feel like to send the wrong person a text describing your dirtiest sex habits? Including the size of your member (glad date number 2 didn't go ahead), how 'unclean 'you like the girl to be and the various names you like to be called during the dirty deed? I feel for this guy I really do, especially when he sent a follow up text saying 'Oh my God, no way did I just send that to you!! I am so so so sorry!' Bless him. I am quite obviously not going to name and shame but fella if you ever read this you need to improve your sexy chat technique and do what every other guy does and add a couple of inches.