When fig leaves just seem so much simpler.

I have been and felt far from glamorous lately, this morning was the last straw when I got into work running rather late wearing disgustingly creased trousers and my hair like wurzel gummidge before frizz ease was invented and I owe it to the fact I spend far too much time either chatting to people on MSN, drinking in pubs or watching Nigella Lawson make delectable and just simply orgasssmic darling 3000 calorie cookies. This means clothing is flung on in the 15 minutes I allow myself to get ready in the mornings and all attempts at sophistication fail quicker than a Jodie Marsh makeover.

Now I'm not a morning person, but in the evening all I want to do is cuddle up or go out so I am going to have to give something up if I want to finish my 20's with at least some decorum.

So!

Tomorrow morning the alarm clock is set for half 6, where I will find my clothes beautifully ironed and laid out on the bed for me, my hair will be properly set from the evening before, my nails will be polished and I will even have enough time to apply my foundation properly preventing tidelines and handprints on my nice clean walls. This seems like wishful thinking but am thinking that an early start will encourage me to go to bed earlier which in turn should stop my naughty habits from coming into play. Oh this all sounds so good in theory but why does it never happen in practise!???

Hm perhaps if I do a kind of Bridget Jones type thing and update my times, gym attendance and calories absorbed that day onto the wickedly wild web (aka MY BLOG) it should kick my butt into gear? Okay will give it a bash and I do solemnly swear I will not lie one jot. Apart from when I do go out because after the third glass of wine I'm lucky if I can count my fingers never mind the amount of calories I have consumed but I shall try do my very best and then in turn will contribute to making at least one person's life happier, gleeful in the knowledge their life is far more organised and healthier than mine.

While I'm on the topic of health I am rather perturbed to be hearing that this Mexican Swine flu has made it over to Scotland, anyone else get the feeling the end is nigh? or is just all this sensationalist tabloid nonsense that is getting everyone into an unnecessary tizzy. I am aware of how dangerous this infection is if caught but I just cant stop having visions of Russel Brand saying 'You Swine!!!' my bad?

God you know what I would really love right now? A mentor, you know like a Mister Miyagi type, someone who won't say very much but when they do it's spookily accurate and makes you just think 'Ah I get what you mean'. Someone like Marco Pierre White who can give me positive pieces of advice like 'A tree without roots is just wood' or Ade Edmondson who replied 'A cricket bat with roots..is a tree' you know those kind of people. A psycholoogist I hear you cry? Okay lets skip this subject think my post tea and toast mind has totally lost the plot here.

Sayonara, and remember Danielsun!! Wax on...wax off.. (nice tip for you ladies next time you whip out the old bikini wax ouch )
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