I had planned to start the scruffs versus suits debate but something else has been bugging me and I just felt the urge to purge this bug onto my blog just to get everyone elses view on things.
Someone once described me as an attention whore. Now this can be interpreted in lots of different ways but my interpretation is that anyone who publicises their lives on the World Wide Web is suffering from a little ADD anyway, and therefore do come across as attention seekers. Had this analogy come from a friend or family member this would have been fine but this came from a complete stranger who had been trying to hook up with me on Facebook (he turned nasty when he realised he wasn't getting any)
Anyway thats not my niggle, I've come to terms with the fact that I do probably rely on the opinions of others more than I should and Attention Whore I am. However. I am perturbed to find that the results of my listing on a flat hunting website have been not dissimilar to the replies to a lonely Hearts ad. After listing my ad 2 days ago I have had 8 phone calls (all from men I might add) 3 of which were apparent wrong numbers 'but how are you today anyway' and 2 were comments on my 'nice pic'. Now can someone tell me why any sane, intelligent man would use a flat hunting website as a method in which to pick up women? What's wrong with these people, why have they got so much time on their hands and why am I so bothered by this?
To be honest I think I'm suffering from lets be friends overkill, maybe life on the Social Networking scene has turned me into a an online hermit who just 'vants to be left alone.' Which is really bad because for every 20 'Just saying hiyas' out there, I do come across decent people who I would give the time of day for and would probably contribute greatly to my life in a roundabout way.
I'm going to offer 5 bits of Social Networking advice to any men out there that fall into the caregory above;
1. If a woman's profile is public then she is open to contact from people she doesnt know - that's fine, but if you read her profile and it expressly says 'I DONT DO WEBCAM, I WONT CHAT ON MSN JUST COS YOU ASK ME TO or I DONT ADD PEOPLE WHO DONT INTRODUCE THEMSELVES then that usually means exactly what it says on the tin. There is nothing more annoying than someone who tries to add you with no reason as to why or with a paltry 'Hi, how are you?', this is mind numbingly boring and even if you are good looking I wouldnt give your profile the time of day
2. Plug yourself - If you are on these networks to meet new people yet your profile is dull as dishwater, says nothing about you and only has a pic of a can of beans on it (which despite what you think isn't cute, funny or cool) then why the hell would someone want to add you????Do you think you are so great that you shouldn't have to sell your self? Maybe you are but am I psychic? Yes maybe I am - I can sometimes tell when my phones going to ring, spooky - but not everyone else is so pull your finger out, spend a couple of hours on bigging yourself up online and Pearl's your auntie!
3. Don't be crude - no matter what you think comments such as 'I want to bite your breast' ' Can I pee on you' and 'I'll buy you underwear if you sleep with me' are rarely the chat up lines that have positive results. You may think these thoughts but doesnt mean you have to say them, try not to in future although the probability is you are rather creepy anyway so no guarantees this will improve your repertoire.
4. Singles Only - Unless you are online for networking or the purpose of meeting platonic friends , if you are married or coupled up and fancy a bit on the side go to 'Iwantabitontheside.com' you will very rarely find females who would be quite happy to fornicate with a guy who's so cheap he needs to cheat on his wife/girlfriend through a free networking site. It's naff it's not nice and you're an a$$hole.
And number 5. Be Original - be cheeky, smart, different, actually read the stuff on my profile don't try to wing it with a cut and paste number that just screams 'I'm desperate for a shag, anybody will do' it just makes my blood curdle that anyone would think I would actually have the time or the energy to reply to you!!
And to hark back to my initial bugbear, don't look for opportunities where there are none, if a girl puts an ad up looking for a flat that's all she is doing, it isn't an under-handed attempt at publicising my phone number for all and sundry to see.
Besides it's there in plain view in the third gentleman's toilet cubicle of the Twisted Wheel, right under the 'I heart Dildos' inscription next to the handle.
Gripe over.
Lx
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