21st Century Pinup Girl?

Shortly I will be celebrating the anniversary of being expelled from my mother's uterus so myself and a good friend of mine have decided to hit my late twenties freshly detoxed and too damn gorgeous for pre-watershed viewing. This has involved trying one diet for 2 days, ditching it out of sheer boredom and googling for the next one that has encouraging photographs of celebs and models emaciated enough to show it's worthwhile giving a bash.

Of course I've treaded the fad dieting path a fair few times before but this will be the first time I have decided to ...wait for it... CUT OUT ALCOHOL! . Being a lady with very few vices I've always thought I have been owed the opportunity to go out and get recklessly drunk as often as I deem fit, I've avoided drug addiction, smoking, stalker-like tendencies, foot fetishes, and anorexia so why the hell shouldn't I??? But then I had kind of an epiphany a couple of weeks ago, and after I looked up the meaning of epiphany on dictionary.com (just to confirm this was as I thought 'a Eureka moment' not the name of some kind of orchestral instrument) I realised alcohol was the only consistent thing in my life that pretty much contributed to it's ruin. To list but a few of the things that have occurred in my life as a direct or indirect result of alcohol:

1. Sex with strangers

2, Sex with friends who I would never have considered sex with

3.Bad sex

4. Great sex (that felt great at time but not so much the next day when you have 6 hickies, rope burns on your wrists and a rash and irritation from the use of scented candle wax that have to be explained to best friend, colleagues and old lady on bus)

5.Sent text meant for boyfriend to boss....

6.Spent a night standing in a hospital corridor screaming "Ignore me! I know this large gouge in my leg which is bleeding profusely and is making me rather nauseous looks quite bad but I'm drunk I don't deserve your charity, look I'll mop my blood off the floor with my skirt that seems to have fallen to my ankles...' (still cringe at that one)

7. Told people I hated them

8. Told people I loved them

9. Fell behind the white screen at a Halloween party..repeatedly...my dishevelled form magnified onto the wall for all to see

10. And worst of all, the mountain of kebabs and chips and putrid, stinking, disgusting food I shoved down my throat that night and the following morning to quell the predictable effects of the absolute barrels of booze I consumed the night before.

Now I have to admit most of these events were of yesteryear (apart from the Halloween one) but to look back at my weekend with pride and dignity gives me a warm feeling inside. The only thing is..what will I have to talk about in the office Monday morning hm.......?

Go check out this site http://www.someecards.com/. Have replaced drunked Saturday night exploits with hunting down great sites on the old interweb and this one had me peeing my nice spotty pink pantie, great little e cards that tell it like it is :)

Speak soon

LPx

On a serious note (and all that nonsense

I've been on this planet for nearly 27 years now (my birthday is on 20th March and don't YOU forget it!) and in that time I have come to terms with a lot of things about myself. First of all I am an 'out of sight, out of mind' kind of person...I prefer to live in the present and now, and although I still think of you often unless you are there in front of me I'm more likely to be concentrating my efforts on something more pressing in the meantime. I realise this sounds almost child-like but I guess it's a kind of coping mechanism to help me remain optimistic and clear-headed and as it is something I have used more and more over the years I find it very difficult to be any different.

Obviously there are certain disadvantages to adopting this attitude, particularly when it comes to family, friends and lovers but as time has gone on my independence and confidence in what I am has become something incredibly important to me so I hope those of you (particularly this person I have in mind) have come to realise this is not thoughtlessness on my part and my feelings havent changed.

Another thing I have found out about myself is that when not in a creative environment I become a lazy-assed chameleon...I blend into my grey, drab and anonymous surroundings, I transform into this 9 to 5 drone who would come home and just sleep all night if I could get away with it. Is this just winter fatigue or has my brain shut down so much that it requires a virtual flood of stimulating ammo before it's raring to go again? Spring? I need you! Hurry up before I'm found comatose, with what's left of my brain matter leaking out of my left ear and creating a puddle on the floor. So tired can't even type properly, where's my flowing style? This post has got more stops and starts than an amateur Go-Karting session!

By the way I've joined Twitter,if you havent heard of it it's like a status update site where you can follow people and they will just give tiny wee updates throughout their day. Stephen Fry updated his account 7 minutes ago saying 'Last scene for me. But at least three more hours on it, I suspect' he is absolutely addicted to it. Am also following Russell Brand and Regina Spektor, I actually feel a little bit like a voyeur, like I'm getting the private inside track on their private lives (along with 45,000 other people). If you want to follow me..in the Twitter sense not of the dark alleyway and holes in walls variety...then just sign up and search for laughingpandora will try keep it up to date with all the goings on in my life (believe it or not is far more interesting than I've been wittering on about here).

Anyhoo, it's 12.35 and my lovely new cosy bed calls.

Ciao Bella
LP X

Valentines Shmalentines

Being in an office full of couples at this time of year certainly puts things in perspective...I've never considered committing a crime before but burning a building with these people in it seems to be a recurring dream I have (only kidding fellow colleagues I love you really.) But the annoying thing is that the other 364 days of the year I am much envied if not revered for my ability to see 6 guys on the hop without fear of retaliation so seeing all these daft flowers, chocolates and dinner dates flying about while I sit nursing a hangover from 3 days of disastrous dating is just not on!

(Doth the lady protest too much?)

LPx