Leggings, Kissing and Other things

Dearie me,

31st July already and I haven't even done half of what I thought I'd do by this point. Getting a little edgy to be truthful with you, perhaps more to do with my living and work situation right now than anything else but it is amazing how we all seem to settle into our own little habits. Think about it, if someone was to write a book about the last 12 months what would it be? A tearjerker? Chick lit? Thriller? Comedy?

I think at the moment mine would be a comedy horror. Like psychoville. Am surrounded by legging clad clones, same blow dryed and straightened hair-dos, neon bangles and orange faces, different mobile phone covers...

If I'm sounding bitchy I'm not, yes all these young girls are at least 10 years younger than me have their whole lives ahead of them and the teeniest tiniest waists I have ever seen but COME ON strive to be at least a little bit different for God's sake! I want to cry out to them in the street, beg them to get rid of the leggings and shove on a cute wee polka dot dress or a cheap little vintage number from the local Cancer Research shop but I feel my cries of encouragement would be ignored so I walk on, high heels clapping along the pavement, tugging up the stockings and drawing in my calorie laden tum. Ah I weep......


..BUT on a lighter note I have some lover-ly things going on. I don't have Swine Flu hoorah! I am no longer employed so am now free to get creative woo hoo! And even better I have my first writing job yee hee! So this part of my life is going swimmingly, even a little bit of romance in the air but that is where I leave it as I cannot divulge anything further. Instead I will leave you with some lovely little facts about kissing and how women go about choosing their men.

1. The 5 characteristics that women like in a man are Strong, well-bred, far-seeing, caring, self-confident

I will vouch for this one although have dated a well-bred gent who showed me how I should sip from my spoon before and that was a slight turn off.

2. 3 long smooches a day can not only make for a charged atmosphere, but if done over a year can relieve you of over a kilogram of weight

I am all for this as a dieting technique, bring on the lip salve yee ha!

3. Men who kiss their ladies before they leave the door live 5 years longer

I have no idea how on earth they managed to find this one out!!

4. Some women are known to reach orgasm during a kiss

This has happened to me before although I was having sex at the time.

5. The average female kisses about 80 men before she gets married

Wrong! The average female kisses 50 men before she's married, unfortunately I myself seem to have increased the average somehwat...

6. About 90 tonnes of lipstick a year is eaten by men

This is a disgusting habit which I feel should be banned this instant!

7. In the throes of love it is scientifically proven that people who are depressed or have been ill long term actually get better

There you go Mr Brown, instead of putting people on the sick you should be getting people on dating sites save yourself a fortune!

8. It has been scientifically proven that when in love the activity in an individuals brain is almost identical to someone who is intoxicated.

I am always intoxicated so no comment.

Remember to say white rabbits tomorrow morning Kittens

Mmmwaah!

LPx